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running loose seeking the necks of beautiful women for a quick meal. In this case Galveston County police were vigilant and finally rounded up one of Satan's undead servants clad only in boxer shorts sporting little images of Batman
. Just guessing about the motif on his boxers. :-)After the vampire broke into this hapless woman's apartment he went for her neck after some before dinner hissing and growling. Thankfully she managed to break free and flee before he drew blood. Had he succeeded she would have become a miss vampire or at least she would have to wear a turtleneck sweater to cover a huge hickey. BTW- Do we still call them turtlenecks?
The unfortunate beast was cornered just outside of the apartment building where he hissed and growled at the responding officers before he scaled two fences in the ensuing chase. When police finally got hold of the vampire he begged them to restrain him so he would not hurt them. The officers obliged him without any argument.
The man claimed that he was 500 years old at the time of his arrest, his offical identification documents, once located, revealed that he was a mere 19 years of age. Police confirm that he must in fact be a vampire as he was not under the influence of drugs or alcohol. They released him on bail when they could not find a sutable crypt that would keep him confined. About an hour later the arresting officers were spotted leaving a local market with large bags of garlic.
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Under intense questioning the girl finally admitted that it was a 19 year old male vampire that performed the biting and not some random attacker. Hmm another 19 year old vampire.
You can all breathe a collective sigh of relief as it turns out that this vampire was human. The culprit was a boyfriend of the girl and they were engaged in some fantasy biting. Seems that the girl was so into vampire stories and movies she wanted to experience the mystical bite for herself. That must have hurt like crazy. She confessed to the cops that her motive for calling them was that she did not want her mamma to find out what really happened when she noticed all the bites.
Flying Brooms.
It seems that Mattel failed to do quite enough research into one of their toy releases. To capitalize on the Harry Potter craze sweeping the world, Mattel devised a toy replica of Harry Potters first flying broom. The Nimbus 2000 had an authentic looking grooved stick and handle for budding fliers.
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Why batteries you may ask; for sound effects of course. But that is not all the toy required batteries for folks.
The broom stick vibrated as you, er, I mean your child, swooped around the room while straddling this authentic looking broomstick. For some reason most of the complaints flying into the consumer complaints department were related to young Potter wannabees upset that their mothers were using their toy to fly and refusing to share it with their children.
Sorry folks but this version does not vibrate :-(
How about a Vampire Joke
?Three vampires went into a bar and sat down. The barmaid came over to take their orders. “And what would you, gentlemen like tonight?”
The first vampire said, “I’ll have a mug of blood.” The second vampire said, “I’ll have a mug of blood.”
The third vampire shook his head at his companions and said, “I will have a glass of plasma.”
The barmaid wrote down each order, went to the bar and called to the bartender, “Two bloods and a blood light.” Groannnnnnnnnnnnn.
P.S. I apologize if I offended any of my vampire readers. ;-)
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