According to the-end.com, "The year 2008 marked the last of God’s warnings to mankind and the beginning in a countdown of the final three and one-half years of man’s self-rule that will end by May 27, 2012."
Really? Should we be trembling in our boots as the prophesied date is less than a year away? Should we pause from procreating because any offspring would be born just before the end? Perhaps we should stop forming new relationships. Perhaps we should become celibate. Wait! Stop! That is definitely going to far or when it comes to sex not far enough!
I came across the item above just when I was relaxing because the rapture failed to materialize on May 11. Harold Camping was in his own words "flabbergasted" that he was still around to talk to the press on May 12th. after his prediction failed to materialize. And I was so looking forward to picking up a good abandoned car.
Not to be outdone Camping has since made statements that the rapture did in fact occur as predicted but that it was simply spiritual. If you failed to cleanse yourself of all your transgressions before May 11, 2011 then you can already bend over and kiss your collective bottoms a fond adieu! The good guys (and gals) are going to be whisked away to a better place while the rest of us get zapped on October 21, 2011, Camping's new date of total destruction.
If we are still here after October 21 then don't despair, we still have the ancient Mayan calendar to fall back on for a good zapping. According to many, the ancient Mayans had a calendar with an uncanny ability to sort of predict the end of the world.
The difficult to understand Mayan Long Count calendar runs on a a fixed life span of 13 B'ak'tuns that consist of about 395 years each. This is the origin of the popular phrase "What the B'ak'tuns is going on here." Anyway, the total of the 13 cycles works out to 5125 years before we hit the zero date when the earth does a hard reboot. That zero date 4 Ahau 3 Kank'in comes out to December 21, 2012 or December 23, 2012 CE on the Gregorian calendar. But remember that the calculation is only correct if the last zero reset date was on August 11th or August 13th 3114 BCE. Can anyone remember if that was the last time earth was pulverized and let me know ASAP?
Are you quaking in your boots yet? If not then enter Nibiru........
It seems that according to some folks out there the Mayan calendar may be correct. Apparently the planet Nibiru or planet X as some call it, is hiding behind the sun and will suddenly soar from its hiding place to pulverize the earth before we can arm our nukes to intercept it.
This puppy is about four times the size of our humble planet!
Astronomers say any object so close to Earth to be within easy striking distance would be visible to the naked eye. I am going to check on Nibiru myself tonight, Not.
Amateur photographers have put forward images of Nibiru peeking from behind the sun but experts claim these are simply false images of the Sun due to inherent lens reflections. Who are these experts anyway, does anyone know?
So hang on everyone, one way or another it will all be over by the end of 2012. After all, a lady who was implanted with a sophisticated interplanetary communication device by Zetans as a young girl can not possibly be wrong about Nibiru.
Until next time; remember if you go out walking and are suddenly enveloped in a mysterious shadow please ..... DUCK. It could be Nibiru.
I think some people need a good dose of Carl Sagan's baloney detection kit.
Here is a final what the F that happened to me this very morning:
I was standing in the kitchen. My long time wife had just finished making me a tuna sandwich. She washed the large knife she used to cut a sub bun open. She was drying it when she turned to me and said with a smile, “It sure would be awful to cut a penis off.” Now that would really be the end of my world.
“What the F***!"
“What the F***!"
Not so sure that I will be able to sleep tonight……
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